


Feather Light

by keraunoscopia



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Kidnapping, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 05:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12698337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keraunoscopia/pseuds/keraunoscopia
Summary: Rafael doesn't want to die here, but he doesn't believe in God, and he doesn't believe in love.





	Feather Light

The concrete floor is cold and wet, the sort of dampness that seeps through clothing and skin and settles into bones. Rafael leans his head back against concrete wall, bits of grey paint flaking into his curled hair. He shifts slightly and winces. His hands are bound together with thin wire, wrapped around a pipe leading straight up into the ceiling. Despite the chill in his bones, the wire feels hot, digging into his flesh, one wrist so deep that he wonders if he’ll ever be able to pull it out. 

He takes a ragged breath in, and a ragged breath out, there are no windows, and there’s only a single incandescent light bulb hanging from the ceiling. He almost wishes that it was off, because pitch black would mean he couldn’t see anything, but now, with the soft swing of the bulb like the pendulum of a grandfather clock counting down each second, shadows dance across the walls. Its illuminating brief glimpses, just long enough for him to think he sees something, but not long enough to be sure. The suspense keeps him on edge, keeps the adrenaline flooding his limbic system, keeps him from resigning himself to his fate. 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been down here, bound to the pipe like a dog that pissed on the carpet. Without a window he has no way to be sure that time is even passing at all, has no way to know if the sun is still climbing its way into the heavens, or if it’s fallen out of sight. Without a clock, he can’t count the steady rhythm of time ticking on. All he can do is watch the pendulum light swing back and forth, ever so slowly. 

He doesn’t want to die here. Rafael isn’t sure if anyone has even noticed that he was missing. He buries himself in his office behind stacks of case law and files and sometimes Carmen leaves for the night without even realizing that he’s still in there working. Maybe if it’s been long enough, maybe if time is passing faster than it feels like, because he’s loosing track, it feels like he’s been down there for months now, but he knows people can’t survive that long without food or water. 

Rafael doesn’t believe in God. He knows he should, he’s Cuban, his Mami raised him a good Catholic boy, he went to Catholic school. But no one was there to save her from his father’s fists, and no one was there to save the little girl who was murdered in his building when he was ten. No one was there when he first got called a fag and ended up in the hospital with a concussion and three broken ribs. And he’s seen too much evil as an assistant district attorney to believe that God exists, to believe that God would have allowed this to happen, that some how the rape and murder of children is part of God’s plan. 

Rafael doesn’t believe in love either. The first he heard of the concept was in his storybooks. But he read them to drown out the sound of shattering glass and his mother’s cries. And then he thought that maybe he could have believed in love when Yelina first walked into his 11th grade classroom with her long cocoa colored waves and that smile that made his chest tighten and his breath catch in his throat. 

But then she had invited him to a party, and drank too much rum and spent the whole night sitting in Alex’s lap, palming him through his jeans, and Rafael had to make up an excuse to leave so no one could see the tears welling in his eyes. 

He thought maybe he had been lying to himself, that the reason he had so much trouble with love was because he was in denial about his own attraction, and he was twenty-four when Nathan burst into his life with dimples and bright green eyes and poetry and grandiose declarations. It seemed like a fairytale he had been too afraid to believe in. But then three years later he got that phone call, the one recommending that he be tested for HIV, because a partner of his had been diagnosed. And Rafael had only ever been with one person before, and that person had sworn to him, up and down that Rafael had been his one and only too.

After that he thought maybe love did exist, but just not for him. That last bit of hope was crushed when the scandal had erupted with Alex and Yelina. He knows now to be skeptical of anyone who proclaims love, he knows that anyone who tries to get close has an agenda, knows that people are master manipulators, and they only ever hang around as long as they need you. 

Rafael can hear a loud slamming sound from the floor above, and it rattles the entire frame of the house, the rafters, down to its core. It’s the first sound that he’s heard since three men in black masks tied him up with wire and left him down here to die. He can feel the sound in his gut, and holds his breath to listen for any sign, any indication that someone is going to come down the steps behind him. He can’t turn around to see, not without the thin wire cutting deeper into his skin, and its already worked its way in so far that he’s afraid one wrong move is going to hit bone. 

No creaks, no groans of the floorboards. He sighs aloud. He doesn’t want to die here, and he knows he won’t. Because Rafael Barba doesn’t believe in God, and he doesn’t believe in love, but he believes in Sonny Carisi. 

Rafael knows that somewhere out there, Sonny is piecing the puzzle together, knows that the moment they realized he was missing was the same moment that Sonny’s resolve turned into an iron wall and an iron fist. He knows because he’s seen it before, the ferocity with which Sonny had protected him when he finally told them about the death threats, the rage that he had channeled into a singular driving force. 

Rafael knows that Sonny is smart, even if no one gives him enough credit, knows that he sees things that other people miss. But he also knows that for Sonny, everything is personal, everyone is family, and absolutely nothing will stop him. 

He shifts again, and can’t help but let out a soft cry. His joints are aching, muscles straining, and he can’t stop shivering from the cold that’s set into his core. Another loud bang rattles the house, and he looks up quickly, startled, jerking his hands involuntarily. The wire cuts so deep he can see thick, dark blood pooling on his wrists and he wonders for a moment why it can feel so hot against his skin when his body feels so cold, like he’s being frozen from the inside out.  
The floorboards sag above him, the joists creaking loudly, and he can hear the sound of footsteps overhead. He braces himself as he hears the shrill hinged squeak of the door opening. He knows there are two possible scenarios, and only one has a good outcome. The blood pooling at his wrists drips onto the fabric of his pants, slowly, but more steadily now, and he knows its not a good sign that his head feels lighter than it did before. 

He hears the creak of the stairs, and resists the urge to try and crane his neck, and then he hears it. “Guys I got him!” Its Sonny’s voice, and its enough for a warmth to bloom in his chest, even despite the chill that had set in. 

The steps turn into a run, Rafael can hear it even if he can’t see it, and then Sonny is on the floor next to him, brows knitted tightly together with concern. “Rafi, you’re okay.” Sonny says, but Rafael’s not sure if Sonny is trying to convince him or himself. Rafael winces again as Sonny settles a gentle finger on his wrists. “Hold still, Rafi, hold still,” his voice is nothing more than a hushed whisper as he cuts the wires free from the pipe. Rafael can’t find words, but he watches his blood smeared across Sonny’s hands as he tries to get the wire loose enough to cut off. Rafael can’t bite back the cry of pain, and Sonny immediately pulls away, like Rafael’s skin is glowing wrought iron. 

“I’m sorry,” Sonny sounds meek, softer than Rafael has ever heard him, and he wants to tell Sonny that its okay, that the harm was done before he got there. “Hold still,” Sonny winces as he pulls the wire just enough to get the knife in, cutting Rafael free. He pulls the loose, blood slick wire away and lets it fall to the damp concrete floor. And Rafael’s whole body sags, finally able to relax away from the wall and he falls against Sonny. 

“Its okay Rafi,” Sonny murmurs, gathering Rafael into his arms, and if Rafael hadn’t lost so much blood, hadn’t spent however long he had spent bound to a pipe in a cold, damp, basement, he might have been surprised at how easily Sonny lifts him up, and carries him up out of the basement and into the startlingly bright light of the house. “Its okay, I got you.” Sonny’s breath is labored, Rafael can feel the rise and fall of Sonny’s chest pressing against his side. 

“I knew you would.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why Rafael was kidnapped, lets just roll with it though.


End file.
